An ode to the annual family photo

Ah, family photos. What's not to love?

Mom spends no less than two months searching and scouring for the perfect outfits for her three beautiful children and super handsome husband only to be poo-pooed for her choices. The 4 year old doesn't care of course, but the 7 year old cannot possibly.be.bothered.to.wear.floral. Ew. Gross. And how outlandish for her to suggest that her husband wear a color other than black or navy? TEAL?!?!? Inconceivable. The search for the elusive perfects outfits continues. Thank goodness for Old Navy super cash days and a lax return policy because we all know those outfits aren't getting returned until June.

One month until family photos and the mother gently urges the father to get a haircut and take the four year old with him. She doesn't want a repeat of the wedding photos when he had that "freshly shorn" look. Husband enthusiastically responds with a Yes! and promises to do so the next day. The next day Michigan loses their first game all year and he enters into a "man-flu" like state. Whilst travelling the next week he conveniently locates a barber ON HIS OWN and gets his haircut. The 4 year old's mop continues to grow because the mother is too preoccupied hunting for outfits to be bothered to take him.

Two weeks before scheduled photos the stomach bug arrives. Toddler continues to poop uncontrollably for a week, further inhibiting the mother from finding the perfect outfits. An epic pimple begins to make it's appearance..a scabby one that cannot be concealed by the most expensive of foundation. The mother's 92 friends on Facebook who sell facial products tell her they have something that works and later that week she finds 92 samples on her doorstep. (By this point, it's too late...the pimple has decided it's staying, it will be seen in the family photos.)

Four days before and outfits have been acquired for everyone...except the mother. "AH! I'll just wear my favorite beige sweater, skinny jeans, and brown booties" She exclaims. **Glances at wall next to her and realizes that's what she wore the previous year...*** The hunt continues...

FAMILY PHOTO DAY HAS ARRIVED. Children have been bribed with cookies, are washed, dressed, and polished. Husband is mildly enthused.


The mother texts back and forth with photographer trying to find a solution.

"We're dressed" the mother pipes. "This is happening."

"I'm at the park and the wind just blew a duck that wasn't flying into the air. The wind is too strong. Let's reschedule" the photographer pings back.

"So I got my children dressed for nothing on a Saturday afternoon?" Mother wails in despair.

Insert every sad emojii possible from photographer who is also a mother.

Two year old spills chocolate milk on fur vest...Mother vows NEVER AGAIN! "We are using candid photos for next year's holiday card!!!"


The rescheduled photo shoot arrives..the end result is no less than perfect.

Mother mentally starts planning outfits for the next year.

Photo Credit Betsey Darley Photography

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