Bedtime is one of those things about motherhood that is constantly changing. As my children get older, I'm getting closer and closer to the day where the tuck me in-get me a glass of water-scratch my back routine is quickly coming to an end, and I thought I was excited about that.
Truth be told, I've never enjoyed the whole bedtime routine thing. I'm tired, they're tired (or not), and I just want it to all be over with so I can sit on the couch and binge watch Netflix. I've frequently rushed through it all just to "get it over with". I realize now, which makes me feel a little mom-guilt, that I have rushed one of the most precious times with my kids. #momconfession
For the bulk of my motherhood journey, I have done the bedtime routine by myself. While I still do bedtime during the week when I'm not teaching class, I've actually been tucking my kids in less and less the busier I get with work. Last night I realized that I had not tucked my littlest one in in almost 3 weeks! While snuggling her, it hit me...these days are fleeting. I won't have too many tuck in moments left. My oldest is already reading to herself each night and while she still wants a tuck in, she doesn't request 15 minutes of back scratchies and 84 cups of water before bed. It's lovely and exciting to see them grow up but it makes my heart ache at the same time.
I can't re-capture the nights I rushed or the nights I missed but I also can't allow myself to feel guilty about it. What I can do is cherish each tuck in opportunity and give a few more kisses and squeezes while I still can.